


Idiot

by writing_with_a_passion16



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Grayson (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, Jason's an Idiot, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Perks of Being a Wallflower Reference, We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 21:29:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2483096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writing_with_a_passion16/pseuds/writing_with_a_passion16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick and Jason had a fantastic relationship. They were happy with their shitty apartment and dangerous nightlife. Now, Jason is in a less exciting relationship, and Dick is Lex Luthor's assistant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Idiot

Jason sat in bed, trying to read. His eyes couldn’t focus and his mind wouldn’t work. He read the same line over and over again. _We accept the love we think we deserve_. That line stuck out at him as if it was in bright pink, neon, flashing lights.

“Jason?”

Jason looked up at Candice who was standing in the doorway between their room and the bathroom. She was wearing blue silk panties under a black V-neck of Jason’s.

“I’m going to take a shower.”

Jason nodded, “Okay, I’m just gonna read.”

Candice nodded, biting on her lip, “Let me know if you change your mind.” She slipped back into the bathroom, leaving the door open a crack. She undressed so Jason could see, then got into the shower.

Jason looked back at the book Alfred had recommended to him. He knew why, it was about a kid discovering who he was through trial and error. Jason couldn’t help smiling at Alfred’s subtle ways of trying to make everyone’s lives better.

_We accept the love we think we deserve_.

Damn. That line again. Jason sighed and closed the book, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes. His phone rang on the table beside him. He picked it up and looked at the screen. His normal background image of him and Candice in a photo booth changed to him and another man. The man was kissing Jason’s cheek as Jason smiled a genuine, open-mouth-filled-with-laughter smile. Jason took that picture when life was full of excitement, not domestic tranquility.

Jason picked up the phone, “Hey, what’s up?”

There was silence for a minute, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have--“

Jason sat up in bed, “No, no, it’s good to hear from you. Is everything okay, your voice is kind of shaky?”

“I’m okay.”

“Dick,” Jason warned.

“I’m fine, really.”

“Did you say something, babe?” Candice called from the bathroom.

“No,” Jason yelled.

“Is now an okay time?” Dick asked.

“Yea, uh, how’ve you been?”

“Good, you?”

Jason looked around at his cookie-cutter bedroom with beige walls and clean carpet, copies of ugly modern paintings on the wall, and Candice’s humming. “Not what it used to be.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Are you still with Lex?”

Dick was quiet for a long time, “Yeah.”

“Remind me again how that happened?”

“After we broke up, superhero stuff didn’t seem right. I didn’t like fighting alone and making witty puns without anyone to appreciate them. I stopped police work because the corruption made me sick. After giving up Nightwing and disconnecting from Bruce, I felt like I couldn’t stop cops murdering each other and hookers. An old friend said Luther Corp’s head courters needed a new assistant. I interviewed, things went well, now I’m taking notes and brewing coffee.”

“Okay, but why are you dating one of the most notorious villains we’ve ever encountered?”

“Hang on,” Dick was silent for a long time but Jason could hear movement. “Sorry. I don’t know, Lex was stable. He had money and things started out okay. He didn’t want to kill Clark or unmask all of us. He wanted to dive into politics. I never agreed with his politics, but I hoped for normalcy.”

“Did you get it?”

“No.”

Jason nodded; glad he wasn’t the only one searching for a normal life after a life of excitement and danger.

“Things have changed. I feel more like a thing than me. Lex buys me clothes, always a size too small. He makes me work when people are around, but otherwise, we just talk. He likes to talk about the things we could do together when he’s President. Then he gets this smile on his face and I either blow him or bend over the desk. I feel like he wants the sex and that’s it.”

“The sex was always really, really, really good.”

Dick laughed, “Yeah, it was.”

“Is it still, with Luther?”

“It’s always about dominance with him. I miss the intimacy.”

 “What do you mean?”

“I miss that feeling of opening myself up to you. I miss you kissing me before, during, and after sex. I miss your hands, strong but gentle, dominant but reassuring. I miss your breath on my neck and your fingers locked with mine. I miss you holding me against you afterwards, whispering sweet nothings in my ear.”

Jason’s eyes closed and his head hit the headboard of the bed. Normally, his hand would have been down his pants at this point. The thought of Dick’s eyes was enough to get him going, but Dick’s voice talking about their sex like it was a dream was different. It was sexy, but it made Jason think of how much heartache he felt.

Candice wasn’t the same, she didn’t seem to mold herself into Jason like Dick used too. Her eyes never met Jason’s, saying over and over again those three words that Jason couldn’t say. She never kissed Jason through his panting. She always judged his groans, where Dick indulged in them, moaning more.

“Are you still there?” Dick whispered.

“Still here,” Jason whispered back.

“Are you still with that Candice girl?”

“Yeah.”

“How are things with her?”

“God, Dickie, I miss you so fucking much.”

Dick was silent, stunned, “I miss you too.”

“No, I mean, I’m sure you do, but I can’t take this anymore. I’m tired of this life style. I hate waking up every morning to go for a run and thinking of the days when I ran to protect you and Gotham. I get home and I imagine you sitting on a counter, eating cereal, and reading articles about us in the newspaper. Instead, Candice rushes out the door to go to work, and I’m alone. I shower and drag myself to work. I’ve become a teacher for fuck’s sake! I’m a fucking English teacher at the delinquent school. I come home and I cook, I read, and I go to bed.

“I miss the days when I could sleep all day, work out, and cook dinner for you after you came home from work. I miss laughing about the stupidest shit while we sit on our crappy couch in our crappy apartment. I miss falling off rooftops, knowing you’re falling beside me. I miss your witty puns and your happy-go-lucky attitude. I miss coming home, my heart racing from patrol. I miss feeling my heart race faster as you lie beside me. I miss the pillow talk. Yeah, I miss the sex, but I miss more, lots more. I could drone on and on about what I miss, but I won’t, because there’s only one last thing that needs to be said. I miss you, period.”

Dick was silent on the other end of the line. He sniffled, and Jason knew he was crying. “I miss you too.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For leaving things the way I did. I thought you were too good for me. I thought I was holding you back from so much. I thought letting you go would land you in an incredible life with an incredible partner. I knew I wouldn’t be happy, but, but, _we accept the love we think we deserve_.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“What?”

“You’re an idiot for thinking you didn’t deserve me. We were happy, now we’re anything but. Neither of us deserves what we’re in now.”

Jason shook his head, “No, I’m a piece of shit and don’t deserve someone so perfect.”

“Jay, don’t you see, I don’t care about how shitty you are. You’re the only person I’ve ever wanted to be with. I love you.”

Jason hit his head again, “Say it again.”

“I love you.”

Jason sighed, “I gotta go.”

Dick sniffled again, “Me too. Night?”

“Night,” Jason whispered, before ending the call.

“That was really sweet.”

Jason jumped, looking at Candice, “Hi.”

“If you’re not happy, why haven’t you said anything?”

“No offense, but I wouldn’t be happy—“

“Unless you were with him?”

Jason nodded.

“You’re an idiot.”

“So I’ve been told,” Jason grumbled.

Candice smacked the back of Jason’s head, “Go get him! Stop living the life you don’t want. Go get the guy who makes you feel like you’re walking on air, and stop living with the girl who weighs you down. I’m not mad; you’ve never looked at me like the way you look at his picture.”

Jason smiled, “I am an idiot.”

“Get out!”

Jason grabbed a jacket, pulled on a pair of jeans, and ran out into the rain. He called for a taxi and jumped in. He felt jittery, his heart beating in his chest. The taxi stopped at an apartment complex, complete with a doorman and a large crystal chandelier in the lobby. Jason took the elevator to the pent house and knocked on the door.

“May I help you?”

Jason pushed past Lex, inviting himself in. He saw Dick sitting on the arm of a leather couch, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers.

“Jason, what are you doing here?”

“An excellent question, Richard,” Lex said, standing behind Jason.

“You’re right, I am such an idiot. I don’t deserve you, but you deserve happiness. If that means living with an asshole like me, then okay. I love you, Dickie, always have and always will.”

Dick’s eyes were watering, “Jay—“

Lex’s hand fell on Jason’s shoulder, “I think you should leave. Richard and I are perfectly fine here.”

Jason spun around and punched Lex in the face. He shook out his hand as Lex fell to the floor. Jason strode over to Dick and without another word kissed him. Jason’s hands cupped either side of Dick’s face, and he had to sit halfway on the couch to pull Dick closer. Dick’s hands flew to Jason’s back, pulling him closer and tighter.

Jason pulled back, letting his head rest against Dick’s.

Dick looked down at Jason, “I love you.”

Jason looked up into Dick’s blue eyes and felt like he was melting. He kissed Dick again, his fingers falling into their place on Dick’s familiar face. His thumbs brushed Dick’s cheekbones, and his fingers combed through Dick’s soft, shaggy hair.

Jason pulled back again and whispered, “I love you so fucking much.”

Dick laughed and pulled Jason into him again.

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by Hinder's "Lips of an Angel". I knew I wanted to have the phone conversation between Dick and Jason, explaining their screwed up lives. The end wasn't originally in my plot, but I like it. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.


End file.
